where am I going (continued)?

What is it with me? Why I can' t have one way direction in my life, why I can' t follow my rational passionate ideas of my life. Is that because am woman as they are emotional and that's why its hard for them to get along with the other part - Men (rational beings).

One moment I want to invade the world, get some five degrees, learn tribal languages and develop myself to the highest independence point and be happy

Other moment I want to sit next to somebody on the couch, wanna travel to the end of the world with somebody, wanna read fairy tales before sleep and pretend that there is no seriousness in the real life with somebody, just fall in love with somebody and never fall out. NEVER.

Other moment, am so thankful to God that i have so great life, that i can be happy for the paradise beach and sea itself, for the simple donkeys and smelly sheep in the fields, for the great things i have, for people whom i can make laugh and be happy that they are next to me.

The moments change. like kaleidoscope.. but mostly it is decorated with emotions, that sometimes the view is so blurry, so hardcore, that your eyes would hurt, you would cry and scratch them so much.. but i think the view never is black and dark, even if i pretend to be serious and numb.. its all lies.. you could read form my face like from the book.. that emotional pile is inside there in my heart and just making it unbearable.

where am going?

It's a very brave thing to fall in love. You have to be willing to trust somebody else with your whole being, and that's very difficult, really difficult and very brave. / I believe that as much as you take, you have to give back. It's important not to focus on yourself too much.
[Nicole Kidman]

Svarīgāks par vietu, kur tu atrodies, ir virziens, kurā tu pārvietojies. [E.Holmes]

Tu nekad nevarēsi atklāt jaunas zemes, ja nebūsi ar mieru ilgāku laiku neredzēt krastu, kuru šobrīd pazīsti.
[A.Gide]